What Every Mom Needs to Know

Mother’s Day is almost upon us. In case you have forgotten, this year it is May 8th. That’s a Sunday which is now less than two weeks away! Mothers everywhere should be celebrated and the ground they walk upon worshipped. Do you know what mothers have to put up with? Recently, there was a Tumblr postabout the six types of suburban mom stereotypes you are. A YouTube video also was posted about the different types of moms you meet. These are funny! Why? Because there is a fair amount of truth in them. There is a lot that people don’t tell you about motherhood. Here are the top 7 things that every mother should know.
#1: You Will Learn to Deal with Bodily Fluids
Seriously. No one tells you how much urine, poop, vomit, and other stuff you will have to clean up. Sometimes, you might be covered in them. That is not a joke. Kids are disease vectors and you will have all of that all over you. As a new mom, you will know what the color of your baby’s poop and its degree of solidness means. If you are a mom to a boy, well, learn to cover certain areas with a diaper or you will be sprayed. When your child(ren) are sick, you will be both nurse and maid. Bodily fluids is a part of motherhood. BTW, when your children are sick, nine times out of ten your partner is sick too. Moms are superhuman because no matter how sick they may be, nothing stops them from still mothering.
#2: There Will Always be ThatMom
The biggest thing no one tells you about motherhood is that everyone has an opinion. It starts out when you’re pregnant with everyone giving you advice. That advice doesn’t stop when your kid is born. It turns into backhanded compliments and criticisms. Look, there is always that mom in your circle that breastfeeds until the kid is three, only used cloth diapers, and prepared their kid’s food homemade. They will tell you the best way to raise your kid and keep them away from pesticides, vaccinations, and whatever “cause du jour” they are crusading. So, what! Don’t feel bad if your kid’s first words were her favorite Happy Meal order. Don’t try to be this idealize image you had of what you would be like as a mom. Throw that crap out your mental window and embrace the messiness that is motherhood. This is an awesome journey and not only did you grow a human being inside you, you are now raising the next generation. Worry more that your kid is a nice person rather than if they can spell quinoa – let alone eat it!
#3: Motherhood is Messy
See #1! Toys, dirt, and food stains. These will become the backdrop to your life. Prepare to always have a messy house and life. Heck, if you can grab a shower daily, then be impressed with yourself. There are days where you can’t wait until they are all school aged and you have five minutes to yourself. Your house will never be as clean as it was pre-kids. Dinnertime will become a power struggle. Your life will be messy. You will forget things – even your kids at some point – because motherhood kills your brain cells. No lie.
#4: You Will Always Have an Audience
Those five minutes of peace in #3…those don’t come too often at first. You’re lucky if you can have five seconds in the bathroom before the horde comes in and needs something. Always realize that you will never have a moment of privacy. Getting dressed, showering…you will always be entertaining others while doing these things. Get over your modesty now. You kids will point out your weaknesses quickly. If you have especially devious ones, they will know how to use that to their advantage! What’s that saying – there are three things that never lie—alcohol, leggings, and kids. That is the truth!
#5: Don’t Be THAT Mom
Perfect Mom? She’s a myth. She doesn’t exist. You are perfect in all your glorious imperfection. Don’t be that mom that throws shade on others. Every other mom out there is struggling and floundering her way through this thing called motherhood. You know why? Because everyone is unique and their kids are unique. No two kids are alike – even identical twins have personality differences. If you see a mom having a hard time, don’t judge her and talk about her to your friends. Help her out. You don’t know what she might be going through. If you are that mom, remember that every other mom knows what you’re going through.
#6: Mom Friends are Awesome
If you have a circle of mom friends, you are one lucky person! These are the ladies that will help you at the drop of a hat. If something comes up, they’ll pick your kids up from school and watch them until you can get them – even if you call them while they’re in the pick-up line. And you know what, you will do the same. When they say it takes a village to raise a kid, they aren’t kidding. Your mommy friends will be the people who help you as your kids are getting older. You will always have friends who have older and younger kids than your own. This is because you need the wisdom of one and be the guidance for the other. Your mommy friends will also know why you need a bottle of wine after staying up all night helping Billy get his diorama ready (the one that he just told you was due tomorrow).
#7: Being Called Mom
There is no better feeling than when your child throws his arms around you and says he loves you. When she calls you mom or mommy, there is a little flutter in your heart. There is something to be said about the bond between a child and their mother. You are the person he will turn to when the world is falling apart (because little Bobby didn’t want to sit next to him at lunch). When her heart is broken for the first time, it’ll be your shoulder she cries on. You’ll be the first person he tells when he realizes he’s found that special person to spend his life with (hopefully at age 35 – says all moms of boys!) Being a mom is not something that stops when they grow up. You are a mom for life.

So for Mother’s Day, celebrate how awesome you are and make sure everyone else does too! Motherhood is hard work and this day is a nice way of saying thank you for all that you do to keep your families happy and healthy. If your family was smart, they would know that every day is Mother’s Day and you should be worshipped at all times!